Danielle Kornacki The Morning After…
Let’s imagine that you woke up this morning and took a moment to reflect on the events of the day before. As you run through these scenario(s) in your head, you conclude that yesterday was not an easy day. Maybe you look back on how stressed you felt or how emotions ran high in the face of that significant stressor you experienced yesterday. Yet, despite it being a new day today – you still don’t quite feel back to your usual self. In this instance, you may be experiencing what we can refer to as an emotional hangover.
So what exactly is an emotional hangover? It can best be described as the lingering effects of an occurrence that caused you to experience intense negative emotions such as fear, anger, or grief. Some examples of these incidents can include being involved in a severe and prolonged argument or a contentious interaction with someone, suffering an unexpected loss, receiving devastating news, or undergoing an experience that you perceived as stressful or traumatic. The differentiating factor between these events and more benign experiences is the magnitude of the resulting emotions they elicit. As the intensity and duration of the resulting emotions increase, so does the likelihood of lasting effects will be felt even when the situation has passed.
So, What Does an Emotional Hangover Feel Like?
First, it’s important to highlight how distressing an extreme emotional reaction can be. I can best describe emotional distress using a wave metaphor – strong emotions come in like a giant wave crashing forcefully to shore. Suddenly you’re hit with a swell of unanticipated and often difficult or uncomfortable feelings. This emotional distress initiates a stress response, which is not only emotionally draining but can be physically exerting as well. This is especially true if our sympathetic nervous system is activated, the physiological reaction involved in the fight-flight-freeze response.
When the dust settles, and the event is over, you may notice fatigue, decreased mood, agitation, or experience feeling of being withdrawn. You likely feel both physically and emotionally drained. The emotional burden of stressful experiences can be difficult to bear, but there are things that you can do to help get back to feeling like your usual self again.
Ride the Wave
Think back to the wave comparison. Just like a wave, emotion can build in intensity but will eventually reach a peak. This is similar to the crest of a wave. Once you hit the peak, the intensity of the emotion will gradually decrease and become more manageable. It can be helpful to visualize this wave, which can be an effective coping strategy the next time you recognize yourself getting caught in the riptide of strong negative emotions.
Take Care of Yourself
When we exert ourselves, it’s best to take it easy – this is true whether the exertion is emotional or physical. It’s ok to take time to recover.
Seek Support
Reach out to someone and discuss what happened. The act of talking about our experiences can help us process our thoughts and emotions. If we can make sense of and learn to deal with emotions in healthy, productive ways, it is likely we will be more resilient in the face of stressful experiences.
Have Self-Compassion
Don’t ignore your emotional hangover. It may be helpful to consider what caused your emotional hangover in the first place and what action you might need to take to avoid further emotional suffering in the future. Be kind to yourself and know that an emotional hangover can be normative in the face of significant stress and not a sign of weakness.
Know When to Seek the Help of a Mental Health Professional
We all experience an emotional hangover from time to time when life challenges us. However, if you’re experiencing chronic emotional distress, this may signify something more concerning and should be addressed.
The good news is your emotional hangover will pass. However, we will inevitably encounter stressors in our lives that are often beyond our control and capable of causing emotional distress. Just remember there are things you can do to enhance your ability to cope and facilitate a quicker recovery in the future.
Take care and take care of yourself.
